Oh dear. Do I have to whisper?
Am I not allowed to talk about resolutions today? :)

Let me think...: my wish for 2009 is that the globes people learn to use internet communities to inform one another more pointedly about economic and political power structures that effect us all, and that we help one another to resist and we create alternate goals and behavioural guidelines to promote a healthy planet.  For instance, that grassroots internet communities talk more about Neuromarketing and point out examples and help one another resist it.  For instance, that we sift through the information readily available on Forbes and the New Economist etc and make it digestible who owns the planet's resourses and who is in cahoots with who to rape and pillage resources, and that we guide one another more on which products to boycott.  Stuff like that.  Yes, it is already happening, but I wish for more grassroots unity and quality synthesis of information for everyman, so that we can say 'no' to forces which manipulate our hearts and souls and pocketbooks to increase their profits and destroy our planet.  Not exactly a whisper  :)

But what about my resolutions?

When I got up yesterday I felt achy and tired and could not haul myself out of bed till noon and even then with great difficulty.
I neg talked myself that i was more depressed and despondant in life than I had heretofore (?) admitted to myself and that because it was New Years Eve it was all surfacing in its ugly truth.
Then I came downstairs and found the gift from Santa for which I had been the Elf, rejected in a box in my living room (the recipient returned it in a posture of shunning me - not new).
I was saaaaaaaaaaaad :( :( And sat a bit in prayer and wrote a foregiveness email to the recipient.

And despondant I trod thumpingly and without enthusiasm off to the liquor store (which usually perks me up but did not have any positive effect yesterday) and to the grocery store, knowing all would be closed by 5pm and I foresaw guests over the next few days.
I moped in the grocery store and was there over an hour. I was also chilled and could not get warm
And then it occurred to me: "I have three coats on, and I cannot get warm...hmmm... maybe I am not actually depressed. Maybe I am just sick?"
I had on my down parka and under that my leather coat and under than a quilted vest and under that a cotton shirt and under that a cotten T-shirt and I was freezing cold.

When I got in the door my 13 year old and his friend jumped up and grabbed all my groceries and put them all away (no highspeed internet frees the mind and heart and hands it seems - I cut him off highspeed 3 weeks ago because he spent too much time on WOW)
I took my temperature: 38.3 C
And suddenly my depression turned to glee!!! I was so HAPPY to discover that I was not faint-hearted and pathetic of spirit afterall. I was very simply sick :) :)

I told my kids I was sick and they were happy to participate in the joy of naps and nurturing. And they shut out my light and I felt cared for. I told them I would get up later to direct dinner and maybe if I felt up to it, watch a movie with the younger two. And that is what happened. The older ones went to parties and the 13 year old and his friend and I watched Dumb and Dumber which was about perfect for my level of sophistication last evening. 
Then I had another nap and at midnight they woke me up and we popped the cork on some Friexnet and each had a glass and I went back to bed.
I just got up now and I feel GREAT!!!!!!!

My Montreal brother is coming with his kids and his GF and her daughter. Other local family are also coming. So it will be a wonderful New Years Day meal and event with people to love and be loved :)

There is a bit of poetic encouragement in the fact that my despondancy was waking up Dec 31st whereas waking up Jan 1 I feel positive and happy. May that be the turning of the New Year - it bodes well.

My New Years Resolution: let go the negative wheel in my head that spins on the effects of loosing a sense of who I was during those times I was hurt by those I loved the most - let go the loss of self born of being turned on negatively when trying to reach for the high road and genuinely do what I felt god was asking of me; forgive such that my own hurt and damage is let go; have the self discipline to let the negative wheels go; and only go forward in the positive, the light, toward Home and Heaven. (and send my friend a bottle of Irish Whiskey at some point in 2009 as well - be it resolved :) )

You people are going to LOVE this!! And you NEED it!
I learned to temporize repairs with plastic cable ties.
Having recently moved, there are so many little jobs.  Others promise to fix such and such because they have the actual skills and tools.  But then they don't.  So I have to improvise until I can line the tasks up and hire someone bit by bit for each one.
1. The new dining room light fixture was too low.  I shortened the chain with cable ties.
2. I need to build/buy home-office shelving.  I have no time to look and don't want to spend $$$ recklessly.  So I have joined plain boards to various IKEA file holders, with cable ties.  It feels pretty sturdy actually.  If I had a drill, I would make small holes and put the ties where they would be more discreet. 

This behaviour is not entirely new as I once repaired my brothers falling muffler with cable ties.
I built an indoor-outdoor cage,  straddling the kitchen window, for my cockatiel, by joining the panels of metal modular shelving, with cable ties.
My brother says hockey tape is more important than cable ties because it sticks to cold wet things and can be used for freezer labelling; and on luggage when traveling in the damp and rain.

When a friend died 3 years ago, I inherited thousands of cable ties, along with his menora, prayer shawl and kosher cook books.  If he were still alive I would ask why he had so many, and no doubt discover even more uses for them.  :)

Sacred is the CHOICE to see the interconnection of all things and will a positive creative expression in every moment.
What is NOT sacred in the moment is  entropy, negativity, will to destroy, loss of interest, apathy.  Giving up.

Why  the current attention to polygamists in BC?
http://www.macleans.ca/article.jsp?content=n0108124A

I think the Mormons are simply the canary in a coal mine (in our now multicultural society) for this particular issue.  It is easier to test our antipolygamy laws on them because it is politically more 'correct' to focus on a longstanding north america population than on a recently immigrated one.  Plus Mormons are overall a small group and not known for violent response to being targeted.  

Mormons unwillingly serve as a 'convenient' canary in a coal miine for the issue of polygamy.

Suffering is the genesis of compassion.
But it sucks to be cast out of the garden of comfort at the time.